Lifebook workshop

This weekend I attended a Workshop, How to Make an Adoption Lifebook, sponsored by the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center (IACCenter). The workshop offered a combination of practical hands on training about scrapbooking (presented by Betsy Schrel), and the more psychological discussion of how a Lifebook can be used as a tool to facilitate a dialog between parent and child about adoption (led by Joni Mantell MSW). The informal "support group" atmosphere of the Counseling Center, attendees that were the Center's clients, and the guidance provided by Ms Mantell, encouraged a revealing discussion between group members about parenting adopted children, and how Lifebooks were one way to give your child a connection to their heritage that encouraged the development of positive self-esteem.

As the only adoptive dad in attendance, no surprise, hearing the "woman's view" on issues such as how they viewed what to tell their children, and when, made me realize the value of this type of setting to share and process something that many might take for granted. There was a helpful distinction made by Mrs. Schrel about the creative storytelling process and the different types of albums that might be created such as Lifebooks, Baby Books, Family Albums, and Travel Journals.

Lifebooks apparently are best created, whether digitally or as traditional scrapbooks, with removable pages, added onto as the child's age or readiness for information develops. Lifebooks are a work in progress, to be used to open a dialog with your child and help them process their feelings about their adoption experience. Even in a domestic adoption, Ms. Mantell makes the point that, parents can set the tone or timing for when information is made available. It is really about how to talk to your child about adoption. It is your child, and it is their adoption story. Privacy of information and how it is shared is a question of parenting, and a choice each parent needs to make.

The thought that occurred to me is why not create two Lifebook albums, one story. One album give to your child and one keep as a work in progress. Only put those pages into your child's album that are developmentally/age appropriate. Each page illustrates and contains different information.

If you take photos, Mrs. Scherl advises, "get started organizing those photos sooner rather than later".  She has a wealth of practical tips such as:

• take existing photos and organize chronologically
• use photo-safe paper that will not loose its color with age
• when making albums, make color copies of original documents, and store the original safely
• always back up your images on disk

There are many ways to tell an adoption story, and the process of doing it will help parents think through those later conversations.

Comments

[joni mantell]

Thank you so much for attending and for gathering this great follow up information. We enjoyed the male point of view and genuinely appreciate how you have organized these resources!

Joni S. Mantell, LCSW
Director, Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center
http://www.iaccenter.com